I woke up like this…

Oklahoma weather, it’s always an adventure. We can start a 5-day forecast with freezing temps, jump up 70-80 degrees within 24 hours, toss in an earthquake to keep us on our toes, sprinkle in some rain, and then finish the week with sunshine and a chance of happiness.  All while the winds go sweeping down the plains, of courseThe old saying goes, “if you don’t like our weather, stick around for 10 minutes,” and it is 100% true. What we Okies don’t tell you is the real-life struggles the weather creates, especially for us girls. 

 

First, I’ll highlight the joys of wind. (Chicago, sit down and shut up.) Mix in our constant wind gusts of 20+ mph with hair and you get the best natural volume the editor of Vogue would kill for…I am pretty confident we keep the hair tie industry booming. But take that same windblown hair and add in lip gloss. Now, we have a true “natural disaster.” If gloss-gookedends weren’t enough, don’t forget the dangers of wind + hair +eye balls. You haven’t known pain until you are poked in the eye by your own hair. As far as fashion goes, we Okie Belles have to check the forecast to know if we get to wear a flowy dress or skirt. With that said, here’s a shout out to pencil skirts and long Maxi dresses!

 

Then there is summertime humidity. By this time of year the winds slightly calm down, but the temperature rises to that of an oven located in Satan’s kitchen. It’s hot. It’s sticky. You can’t breathe. It feels like you are being sautéed alive. (Arizona, you can also sit down and be quiet with your “dry heat” nonsense.)Hot is hot. Heat and humid is torture, but the struggle is makeup. It melts. It is not uncommon to find a tube of oddly shaped lipstick in my refrigerator that I am desperately trying to save and reshape. Hairspray is another struggle and although it doesn’t melt, it does transform from a gas state into a solid substance that I am sure chemists don’t quite know what to call yet. Big hair does care in Oklahoma.

 

Now, let’s talk the real struggle. We are right smack in the middle of Tornado Alley*. This year our tornado season is in full swing (no pun intended) as we have already experienced a few touch downs in my area. Aside from the obvious fatal devastation such storms threaten, there is another struggle that affects me personally…pants. When it is springtime in Oklahoma, you are under what seems to be a constant tornado watch, meaning a tornado could pop out of the sky at any momentSo if you are like me and hate wearing pants – calm down boys, I know it sounds exciting, but focus – you have to wear pants whenever you sleep, because what if a tornado happens while you are sleeping? Do you want to be found pantless? Or stumble around in sheer panic when the sirens rip you from your sleep? Worse, you could be the one the TV crew chooses to interview and you’ll be standing there pantless and looking like a hot mess (which is also why we have to wear makeup to bed sometimes, just sayin’). That kind of pantless, hot mess look may be acceptable in other parts of the country, but I’d like to think that Oklahoma girls keep it classy

 

Thanks for reading and as always, make your day sparkle! And yes. The picture is how I woke up this morning…

 

*While this blog is light-hearted and created for entertainment purposes, please note tornados are to be taken seriously and I personally do not joke about the true devastation and loss suffered by those affected by such storms. We are Oklahoma. We are strong! #oklahomastrong

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One thought on “I woke up like this…

  1. You have such a way with words – and I agree 100% with you!! I knew someday you would sit in a room and just think shit up – only we know what I’m talkin’ about! Keep up the good writing – you are ready to being a book for publication in my opinion. Love you, Mama

    Liked by 1 person

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